so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
