dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
