Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
