How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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