Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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