is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize