he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's like iHOP with fire
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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