he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
