he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
