you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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