Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
