First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
