If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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