found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
