dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
