what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
