Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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