Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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