I hate all girls vehemently.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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