The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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