k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
