Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How's work?
Spinning.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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