i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
