Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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