I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
