Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
