Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Randomize
