he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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