I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
