he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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