K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's like iHOP with fire
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
