she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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