i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
