so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
