I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think your dad took our porno
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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