So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
