She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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