I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
