Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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