you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
