Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
