barbara walters just said penis...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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