It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
