I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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