Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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