I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
