Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
