Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
