i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
