I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
do herpes really smell.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
