East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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