I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
