I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
