The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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